where did the name shutthekaleup come from?
the name came from being upset with aj one afternoon. he had his earphones on and I wanted to get his attention and tell him the ideas I had come up with for this instagram I was going to create. he obviously wasn't looking over at me and was blasting music so loud that I could even hear it. I said, "please shut that thing up honey. shuuuut up". then it hit me, shutthekaleup! it took me about a week to come up with this name. it was so unexpected but it worked.
the reasoning behind my instagram and now blog was to help people and understand balance.
it didn't come easy for me as I was always that skinny girl who ate McDonald's and alllll the fast food in the world and never got big. well, until I hit my early twenties and noticed my body changing and feeling the greasy fast food weighing me down all the time. that's when it went to my head. I needed to "DIET" (that word I just can't stand). so of course, I looked up all the diet fads and started "cleansing/juicing", exercising twice a day and eating 800 calories a day. yep. you heard right. I was sick. the eating disorder spiraled shortly after. starving/binging, starving/binging.. so on and so forth. I felt alone. I felt disappointed in myself. I felt deprived from dieting and it was just a sad place to be. I never want anyone to feel the way I did so I prayed and worked really hard at getting out of my mind every time a trigger would come my way. Aj was so supportive and helped throughout the whole thing. I just took it one day at a time and I surrounded myself with people that cared about their health in a healthy and balanced way. they made me feel "normal" and I started to talk to them about my eating habits. once I opened up about my eating disorder it all fell off. little by little I felt less insecure. I felt content with my ability to be sooooooo active and strong that being skinny didn't matter to me anymore. it was all about enjoying life with Aj and fueling my body with REAL FOOD. gluten doesn't scare me. sweets no longer linger in my mind as "bad foods" that I shouldn't eat. if I want something, I eat it and don't think twice about it or feel guilty. my ED no longer defines who I am. it tells a pretty damn story but that's all it is. yes, I still think about it because it'll never go away but I keep taking it one day at a time. and I'm sooooo okay with that. health is where it's at. this is why I created shutthekaleup, to help those who need to be honest to themselves and say it out loud. so no one feels ashamed or discouraged. to get ideas on what and how to eat with simple meals and real ingredients. no fake shit ever.